Published:
01/25/2012 04:01pm
Why Resolutions Don't Work
Why Resolutions Don’t Work
By
Marsha Walker Eastwood, MSHS, HS-BCP
Making resolutions is a cleansing ritual of self assessment and repentance that demands personal honesty and, ultimately, reinforces humility. Breaking them is part of the cycle. ~Eric Zorn
As relationship and financial coaches, my husband Jim and I realize the exquisite futility of making resolutions for the New Year. Frustration, self-loathing and a generalized feeling of failure often ensue within the first 60 days after making those New Year’s promises to do better by ourselves in all areas of our lives. The failure rate is incalculable because resolutions are all about change– diet, health, finances and social connectivity. The real reason resolutions don’t work is that real change requires behavior modification.
For the most part not a lot of advance planning goes into resolutions. They are neither well thought out nor sustainable. The diet that looks so good and seems so doable on January 1st can quickly become a budget-busting nightmare. The new gym membership kicks the excuse mill into high gear– the weather, too busy, and of course the most famous lines of all, “tomorrow, tomorrow, I promise tomorrow…”
Changing the way we think and feel about ourselves and our places in the larger community is a lifelong process of evolution. We all know that eating healthy, getting at least a modicum of exercise, taking our various supplements and doctor ordered medications all contribute to our longevity. Getting our finances– no matter how meager, under control is an absolute. Effectively dealing with our social prejudices and phobias serve to make us better people.
Real commitment to change has nothing to do with a date on a calendar. It has everything to do with ongoing introspection, faith in self and engaging in positive self-speak. Behavior modification starts with asking the question that identifies the issue(s) and then creating a doable action plan with clearly defined goals.
You don’t need a degree in psycho-babble, just the dedication to becoming the person you want to be on your own terms and in your own way.
©Marsha Walker Eastwood
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