Published:

06/05/2014 12:00am

The importance of empathy in the workplace

This topic came as a joke of sorts, as my co-founder Katie and I were talking about the IRS and; all of a sudden, I shout (as much as I can possibly shout while chatting in Skype) “I'm going to write about empathy!”. I promise you that I did not think of this topic solely in relation to the IRS, but it is quite the nice segue nonetheless.

I've always been an empath, which means having a heightened sense of emotion to those around you, so I often take for granted that people don't perceive and process emotions quite like I'm able to. For this reason, I decided to write this article. I believe it's imperative to experience and express empathy as a freelancer, a female entrepreneur and just even as a human being.

According to a University of Michigan study, in the “2000s”, college students experienced 40 percent less empathy than college students during the 1970s. Of course, no statistics are incredibly meaningful without context; and even then, their relevance can be questionable; however, it is certain that empathy is a slowly-dying skill that must revived through identification and education.

So what is empathy?

Have you heard of the saying, “Put yourself in someone else's shoes?”. As contrived as that statement may seem, this is the essence of empathy. This phrase never quite made sense to me: why would you want to wear someone else's shoes? Secondly (and joking aside), that phrase makes it seem like such a simple concept, and it's truly not. The ability to understand the feelings of another is a critical factor in Social Awareness, which is essential to successfully sustaining healthy relationships. Empathy is not something that you can just take on and off like a glove; it is a skill that is acquired and honed through mindfulness and practice. Why go through the effort to learn? Because it's important to the human experience to connect with others, and by lacking empathy, we pass up considerable possibilities to do so.

Why is empathy important as a freelancer?

Although we'd like to think most of our focus is work-related, we still spend time sharing personal information and experiences with colleagues. We all experience the same basic emotional needs, though they may not manifest similarly. When in an emotionally-charged situation with some else, you must consider how the other person truly feels, and not how you would feel if you were them. A fair number of disagreements initiate because the other person feels like he or she has outright failed to be heard, whether that is the intention of the other individual or not. This can break teams, both on a personal and professional level. Not only does the work not get done, but also now the team no longer likes or trusts each other enough to complete the work in the first place.

Empathy as a manager and leader

If empathy is the glue that binds the team together, then a leader is responsible for administering that glue. This can prove daunting, as daily work activities contend for attention amongst a growing list of client call-backs and new proposals to send out. This is why not everyone is cut out for a leadership position: it requires one to balance the responsibilities of the professional success of the business with the personal growth of the team. This is something everyone can learn, but that doesn't mean everyone does; and for some, this comes more natural than for others. A leader who can identify with the emotional needs of his or her team, and incorporate these needs into the business plan, will experience success in no matter what niche he or she pursues. As a leader of a team, my philosophy is to always be the type of leader I'd like to work for myself; and if I'm not, I have some adjustments to make.

Tips for building empathy

Learning to express empathy is like any other skill: it requires a considerable investment in time and energy to build a proficiency. There's no magic recipe or thorough road map, but I can provide you with some empathy-building tips that come Administrative Wonder Woman-approved:

Visualize yourself in the situation. Especially if you are a manager, sometimes your memory may lapse of what it was once like to be an employee subjected to another manager's criticisms. Nearly everyone has a manager, so next time you discuss an emotionally-charged subject with an employee, explore how you would feel sitting in front of your own manager in a similar situation. This allows you to not only be actively present in the conversation, but also to reflect on your employee's emotions before saying something that profoundly impacts them for better or for worse. The same goes in any conversation that is employee to employee, rather than manager to employee.

Be more curious. A naturally curious person always asks “Why?” When you ask probing questions, you get finite answers. Thinking critically about the emotions of another person produces a sense of identification with the other person. You can increase your curiosity through asking more basic questions (Who? What? Why? When? How?) in your daily life and doing additional research on topics of interests on the Internet.

Become a body language expert. Over 80 percent of a person's communication is through utilization of non-verbal cues. You can interpret emotional predispositions through facial expressions, gestures, eye movement, breathing and posture. This can often by difficult when dealing with someone online. In this case, it is important to notice the tone of the person through word use and sentence structure. This takes time and possibly some sort of modeling or mentor-ship to accomplish.

Take a look in the mirror. Part of being sensitive to the feelings other other is through self-examination of any limitations to becoming more empathetic. Do you harbor any bias, prejudice or fear that is preventing you from appropriately receiving emotional cues? It's perhaps time to practice some mindfulness and discover any of these potential hurdles.

The key is to be patient with yourself and reward yourself for even the slightest progress!