Published:

09/02/2014 11:32am

Dear Spouse, (A Letter to the Life Partner of an Entrepreneur)

Dear spouse/partner

Welcome to the crazy, adventurous and the roller coaster startup life. When someone starts a business, it means she feels strongly that she can make a difference and create something of value because that's what businesses do, they solve problems. And great entrepreneurs are the ones who solve great societal problems therefore your partner is on the way to solve a societal problem. If he succeeds, society will greatly reward his effort. But remember nothing good comes easy. Therefore in the course to solve problems and affect society in a good way, your dear partner (entrepreneur) may seem concerned about the business more than any other thing. All thoughts and emotions go to the business and therefore this person you've known for a while all of a sudden becomes distant and always deep in thought. But don't worry too much and it's a normal 'teething' process for any entrepreneur because that is what happens when one desires to change the world.

Therefore as a partner you'll have two feelings about the whole startup situation. Its either you're extremely supportive and helpful or you secretly wish that the startup will not do too well so that your partner will give up and you'll return to your 'normal life' where you both have dead end jobs and work till 65. But the thing with entrepreneurship and starting a business is, even if the startup fails, there is no normal life afterwards because money, time, energy and a lot of emotions have already been invested which you can never get back. Though your partners startup might look to be going no where today, i can assure you that when you hold on a little bit longer and that moment of profitability, stability and/or acquisition comes, nobody would have to tell you deciding to be an entrepreneur is one of the best decision you partner has made.

Because first of all, successful entrepreneurs make lots of profit which leads to financial freedom. When there is financial freedom then there is piece of mind because money is not one of the things a successful couple would have to think and argue about. Money is the reason why a lot of us go to school for many years, get advanced degrees and even work overtime. Just to make a little bit more therefore think about how all your financial problems would be solved. Then there is the time factor. Successful entrepreneurs who have built successful businesses do not have to work as much. They can hire a competent team to do daily task and even manage the business whiles they enjoy their lives. More money for a spouse means, there is time to travel, explore the world and do all the things that interest you as a couple. You get to donate to charities and causes that are dear to your heart and make a real difference in your society or country.

Does all this sound like a dream and unreachable? well it is achievable and here are someways to quicken the success process for your spouse.

Allow your entrepreneur spouse to complain: By saying allow them to complain i mean give a listening ear when they are venting their frustration with a employee, supplier, a business partner, their fears, anger and all the varied tantrums that can be found in the entrepreneurship spectrum. The thing with entrepreneurs is they think everyone is incompetent and they are the salt of the earth therefore they tend to complain a lot. The best you can help is give a listening ear. Please don't tell your partner (entrepreneur) 'You're too whinny'.
You can help with some of the work your partner is doing. There are certain mundane jobs with a startup that does not require a phD to do. You can devote an amount time of say a few hours a week to help with your partner at work. Doing this can give you sometime together and can be another point of alone time for the two of you.
Sometimes prior to starting the business, your partner had certain household chores that she/he would normally do at home. During the 'make or break' phase of the startup, you can add these simple chores to your own chores. You can put it on your to do list as one of your task now. To give your partner a little bit more time to work on the startup.
If your spouse is doing the startup with other partners you should try and establish contacts with the spouses of the other partners. Try and maintain some level of friendship with them. This can serve as a support group. Your group can serve as evangelists for the startups product and services.
Occasionally, genuinely ask your partner how the venture is going and be ready to celebrate or sympathise with your spouse when things are going great or not so great. And be prepared to listen if your partner is frustruated like the first point above. Please don't ask like it's a chore you have to do show genuine interest and concern. Because not asking is better than asking in a corny way.

Entrepreneurship is no doubt full of ups and downs and can really be a stressful ride but if you're willing to hold on one more moment and persevere. Your partner and yourself will enjoy the rewarding benefits of having your own business. Hoping to hear about you doing great things and donating a ton of you country's currency to a charity... Good luck

Your Faithfully

Kwaku Abedi