Published:
01/10/2012 12:50pm
Autobiography in Five Short Chapters
Autobiography in Five Short Chapters
Creating awareness is taking a good, honest look at where you are in your life. It’s recognizing habitual patterns, both good and not so good, seeing where you are moving forward and where you are remaining stuck. It’s acknowledging those “less than, not enough” underlying thoughts keeping you limited. It’s shining your light into the darkness, uncovering what is there, facing it head on, and developing new truths of possibility. But, as with most dark places, this process can be scary. We don’t like facing the unknown, or worse the known err thoughts of lack- lack of self worth, self love, self confidence- for if we face them, we might have to claim it and change it. We forget that in claiming it, we are also claiming our power to make a different choice. When I think of creating awareness, I’m often reminded of this poem by Portia Nelson.
AUTOBIOGRAPHY IN FIVE SHORT CHAPTERS
poem by Portia Nelson from her book
“There’s a Hole in My Sidewalk: The Romance of Self-Discovery”
Chapter I
I walk down the street. There is a hole in the sidewalk.
I fall in. I am lost. I am helpless. It isn’t my fault.
It takes forever to find a way out.
Chapter II
I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I pretend I don’t see it. I fall in again.
I can’t believe I am in the same place.
But it isn’t my fault.
It still takes a long time to get out.
Chapter III
I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I see it is there. I still fall in. It’s a habit.
My eyes are open. I know where I am.
It is my fault. I get out immediately.
Chapter IV
I walk down the same street. There is a deep hole in the sidewalk.
I walk around it.
Chapter V
I walk down another street.
Creating awareness is definitely a process, a journey. First, we need to identify that there even is a hole, to continue with the metaphor. How many times do you find yourself in the exact same situation time and time again? What is familiar? What thoughts and beliefs brought you to this spot, again? This recognition is a very important step. It isn’t meant to be one of blame but rather one of realization. And yes, it usually takes a few times for us to really come to this recognition. It’s like when you meet someone and run into that same person again, later. You know you know them, but can’t quite put your finger on where you met them, how, or what their name is. Once you begin talking, you figure it out. Welcome to Chapter 2.
Chapters 2 and 3 are about acceptance and responsibility. While she uses the phrase it isn’t my fault and it is my fault, I like to think of it more as accepting responsibility for my thoughts and actions. Once you realize your thoughts and actions are your responsibility, you begin to create new thoughts and actions. You may find yourself in a similar situation, yet again, but this time you’re prepared. You have your new truths ready and you don’t fall into the known hole, you walk around. Finally you do get to Chapter 5, realizing these new truths have taken you on an entirely new path.
In creating awareness, it is very easy to fall into self-blame. Don’t be so hard on yourself! Thoughts like how could I have done this or see, this is evidence that I’m really not worthy or good enough only feed into self blame, when it is at these exact moments you need to be gentle with yourself. Remember, you make decisions based on the information you had at the time, doing the best you could at the time. Creating awareness is you “knowing better so you can do better”, Maya Angelou. Shine your light into the darkness, go into the deep, dark corners, uncovering all that is holding you back. In creating awareness, you move into reframing and creating new truths to take their place in your journey towards Chapter 5.
