Pitchrate | Why Girls Bully Differently than Boys

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Edie Raether

Edie Raether, MS, CSP, is a change strategist, international speaker, author and wellness consultant. Visit her at www.raether.com or contact her at edie@raether.com.

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Wings for Wishes

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10/15/2011 08:49pm
Why Girls Bully Differently than Boys

The root cause of bullying among girls seems to reflect low self-esteem and an attempt to elevate oneself and be included in a social group by pushing another out of that social circle. It is a corrupted expression of competitiveness that would be better expressed on the basketball court or academic and musical accomplishments. If we have a good feeling about ourselves and who we are, we then show that same respect to others and honor them as well.
"Girls will be girls" is not an excuse. Girls can be very mean or "catty." Most experts have expressed how bullying among girls is rapidly on the increase especially with the onset of cyberbullying where one can easily hide and remain anonymous, at least until caught.
While boys are more likely to "have it out" in the parking lot and yet be on the same baseball team the next day, girls tend to dig in deep and not let go of their prey. Girls tend to sustain an ongoing battle and continue their harassment relentlessly. Playing Sports Create Team Spirit Some of the contributing factors are that boys are often taught team sports at a young age, while girls play with dolls or do more one-on-one activities and single themselves off with just one friend or two and then begin to exclude who they perceive as intruders to their small inside circle. Fortunately, girls are currently more active in sports where the lessons of team cooperation are learned. However, coaches who promote ruthless competition defeat the character building possibilities of playing sports.
The effects of the media on a girl's self-esteem and positive identity can be devastating. If you listen to the lyrics in much of the rap music, not all, but much of it, you will cringe. My curiosity pushed me to tune in and listen to some rap, but to save my sanity and faith in humankind, I had to turn it off. The lyrics were quite explicit in depicting girls as nothing more than sex objects put on earth for male pleasure. Heck, you can't even watch a hamburger commercial for one of the fast food joints without clearly depicted messages of seduction. Why can't a hamburger just be a hamburger! Girls Lack Identity and Crave Image It is difficult for girls to choose the path of Gabrielle Giffords, the Tuscon congresswoman who survived a bullet to her brain, or Secretary of State Hillary Clinton as they don't fit the media's mold of what is cool or sexy. Most teen girls are more tuned into the escapades of Lindsay Lohan, which have much more frequency on the airwaves.
When a teenage girls lacks identity, she craves image and the media and teen music offer a plethora of images that put girls into a competitive spirit with each other for the attention of the almighty male. Even smart, savvy women such as Maria Shriver, betrayed by her husband Arnold Schwarzenegger, can fall victim to the delusional images of power we relinquish to men.
When we don't experience power in a positive, constructive way such as academic achievement or mastery of a talent or activity, destructive channels of expression are chosen. We all want to feel a sense of control and when we are not in control of ourselves, we are compelled to control others. A New Social Norm
Then too, there is a collective momentum that groups and gangs generate and it unfortunately dispels all rational thought and replaces it with delusions of grandeur. When several people violate established rules and mores, it establishes a "new norm" where what was once wrong is now right. In other words, our brain decides that if everyone is violating a rule, the rule no longer exists and there is no violation. It is best explained by theories of the "herd" mentality where the masses simply follow what a few may do whether right or wrong. A group conscience can be quite fickle.
Our tolerance of bullying over the years has created a serious social problem that can no longer be ignored. To follow are a few suggestions for you to help prevent another child or teen becoming a victim of bullying and other acts of intimidation

Keywords

cyber bullying, school bullying, anti bullying, stop bullying, what is bullying, bullying definition, bullying suicide, bullying facts
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