Who Should Talk to the Coach?
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Published:10/27/2011 09:17am
DivaToolbox.com, October 27, 2011BestTeamMom.com, November 1, 2011Who Should Talk to the Coach?If youre a family with kids playing sports, undoubtedly theres been a time when your child has sat on the bench.The scenario is all too familiar. There are many games when the child sits out the game and never gets a chance to prove himself. His teammates joyously move off the court or field following a game, thrilled with their victory, and your son consoles himself.In a case such as this, what do you do? When your child was younger, it was an easy choice. If...
Autism Isn't Fair to Me! Promoting Positive Feelings Among Siblings
Published:10/27/2011 12:19am
If you have more than one child, do they compete for your attention? Do you detect jealousy that you would rather not see? Does the amount of bickering among your children and lobbying for No. 1 position concern you as a parent? Welcome to the world of parenting!In addition to that, if you have a child with special needs that requires extra time, money and attention, you unfortunately increase the risk that normal sibling resentment will impact your household. No matter how secure your other children are their individual temperaments and personalities can make them more susceptible to feelings of envy...
Thin from within
Published:10/24/2011 05:23pm
Thin from within By Debbie Johnson Whats the first three letters in the word diet?That right, die, and thats how most of us feel on a diet. I know I certainly have. And Ive had...
Anti-Aging through Stress Reduction
Published:10/24/2011 05:17pm
Anti-Aging through Stress ReductionBy Debbie Johnson, Author of Think Yourself YoungWhen Oprah interviewed supermodels whod just turned fifty, Cheryl Tiegs was very clear about why she still looks and feels so young. She said that she never worries. She also said that everything always works out anyway, so why worry?Stress and worry literally create not only poor health, but wrinkles as well. According to the AMA (American Medical Association), stress is responsible for 89-85% of all human illness! But theres more, it can also wreak havoc on our outward appearance. Think about it for just a moment. If stress affects the...
Loving It
Published:10/24/2011 05:10pm
Loving It!By Debbie JohnsonI love the way savory vegetables in rich sauces taste, with sauted marinated chicken. I love the nutty flavor of my sprouted flatbread. I even love the simple spicy sweetness of an apple sprinkled with cinnamon. Is your mouth watering yet?Surprise! Every bit of the food I described above is gluten-free and low-glycemic (and you can have it tonight if you are industrious; see below).I Dont Have to Eat That WayThe most amazing thing about all this is that I am not gluten-intolerant, and I could eat some carbohydrates, but I dont even like pasta anymore. I eat...
October is National Dyslexia Awareness Month
Published:10/21/2011 04:42pm
October is National Dyslexia Awareness Month. This month, we recognize the struggle that so many people with dyslexia experience with reading and writing. In the past 10 years the world has turned digital. People communicate textually more than ever. Dyslexics struggle to interact, be heard, and be understood is even more challenging. For students it affects grades, confidence and self-esteem. At the same time, for adults, dyslexia creates a very real ceiling to job promotion. Most full time positions require writing skills and without them our society runs the risk of consigning many peopleto relatively low-skill, low-wage, hourly employment.What is Dyslexia?...
Six Tips to Prevent Bullying
Published:10/15/2011 08:59pm
1.Stop Enabling. Parents must leave their egos out of their parenting and stop defending their childs unacceptable behavior. You are not helping by rationalizing or living with delusions regarding your childs behavior. If the facts are clear and the verdict is in, you must seek professional help for your child rather than pretend the problem does not exist for it will only get worse due to your negligence. 2.Establish Clear Expectations. By establishing clear expectations of desired and acceptable behaviors, a child is provided with a road map or blueprint to follow and in most cases will...
Is Your Child Hardwired to Bully
Published:10/15/2011 08:55pm
Kids who are mean grow up to be mean adults. Being mean becomes one's identity. Once we define ourselves as such, it dominates and directs who we are and what we do or how we act. The roles we play hardwire our brain cells and determine future behaviors. Once an act or behavior is a habit, we are fighting some very powerful forces of nature which is why I insist on programs of prevention such as I Believe I Can Fly! It is the only way we are going to stop the cycles of violence. ...
Bystanders are Bullies Too
Published:10/15/2011 08:52pm
Getting the bystander involved is how we can create a tipping point. The power of the majority lies with the bystanders. Their silence is a statement of permission and acceptance of the aggression. Our job is to make it safe for bystanders to take a stand and get involved. If they are turning their backs to what they see, hear and know, their passivity and tolerance is contributing to the problem. Clearly, if you are not part of the solution, you are a part of the problem. Bystanders must be taught the difference between tattling...
Why Girls Bully Differently than Boys
Published:10/15/2011 08:49pm
The root cause of bullying among girls seems to reflect low self-esteem and an attempt to elevate oneself and be included in a social group by pushing another out of that social circle. It is a corrupted expression of competitiveness that would be better expressed on the basketball court or academic and musical accomplishments. If we have a good feeling about ourselves and who we are, we then show that same respect to others and honor them as well."Girls will be girls" is not an excuse. Girls can be very mean or "catty." Most experts have expressed how bullying...
Tips to Become a Bully Buster
Published:10/15/2011 08:38pm
As a family therapist I integrated some of the principles of Transactional Analysis into my practice. Many of you will remember TA from the books Im Okay Youre Okay and Games People Play. The Drama Triangle was used to illustrate the roles people play, why they play them and the dysfunctional dynamics they create in our relationships. For example, the person who plays the rescuer can then become the victim; for when one role shifts, they all do. This model has relevance to the dysfunction seen in the cycles of bullying. The Drama Triangle is a...
Resilience: The Strength to Grow in Tough Time
Published:10/15/2011 08:35pm
The strongest oak of the forest is not the one that is protected from the storm and hidden from the sun. Its the one that stands in the open where it is compelled to struggle for existence against the winds and rains and the scorching sun.----Napoleon HillResilience is your ability to bounce back after disappointments or setbacks in these tough economic times, or to fall seven times, but stand up eight! Accept the fact that life will always have its challenges so embrace them knowing that with acceptance we do take responsibility to take action and make the necessary changes....
Bullying: Problem Solving Skills Trump Punishment
Published:10/15/2011 08:33pm
While consistent consequences are essential to correct behavior, punishment and isolating the bully often prevents him from developing compassion and sensitivity as he remains unaware of the pain inflicted upon the target. The exception is the "iceberg bully" who tends not to learn from his transgressions and seems hardwired to be violent. Removal from the environment for the safety of others is thus essential. With many bullies, however, teaching problems solving skills and responsibility for one's behavior may be the most constructive solution. Tips to Convert Bullies into Buddies: 1. Behavior modification results from learning, correcting and changing behavior. The...
Help, Healing and Hope for the Bullied
Published:10/15/2011 08:28pm
Those most often bullied are very sensitive people living in a somewhat insensitive world. As a psychotherapist, I was frequently treating a person whose problems were the result of someone elses problem that had not been treated such as bullying. To get ahead of the game, we need to focus on prevention and intervention at an early age and not just treat symptoms, but those people who are the cause of social problems. If you have been the brunt of endless jokes, teased until you cry, or had your spirits broken, there is hope and there is help. However, you must...
Stop a Bully - Assert Yourself
Published:10/15/2011 08:24pm
Assertiveness training encourages techniques such as the broken record where you repeat one simple phrase over and over as a way of not being distracted from the real issue and maintaining a position of power and strength. It may be as simple as saying, Stop it or I refuse to waste my time and get into this with you. Janet suggests that you rehearse your statements of strength in the mirror until they become second nature. You might also learn a few diffusion statements where you change the direction of the dialogue with distraction....
